passing the time by...

...because the cableman said that he'd be here between 9a and 6p. so now i'm STUCK at the crib. it'd be nice if i had something to WATCH. i love the internet, but i do like a different form of entertainment every now and then...

i'm enjoying being a resident of dallas. i've been here for almost a week. it'll be a week tomorrow, as a matter of fact. i still haven't bought groceries yet because i always seem to find my way to my mama's house and i just take food from there. the grocery store is closer, but her food is already MADE.

but i'ma limit my visits over there. its too many damn people in that house: mama, sister, sometimes bigmama and cousin, then my aunt and her granddaughter. ANNOYING ass granddaughter, who i took shopping with me last fridai. well we didn't shop, i was looking for stuff in the store that i found on the internet for my apartment. you know some things can be deceiving when you see it in real life... i couldn't buy anything anyway because i left my credit card at home (i do that on purpose so i won't impulse buy). another reason why i can't stand my lil cousin (aunts granddaughter) is because she is terribly spoiled, clingy and whiny. she has hmm 8 brothers and sisters, but she doesn't live with any of them because they alllll have different parents (her mom has 3 kids by 3 guys; her trifling dad [who i am sadly related to] has 7 daughters by 6 women, and supposedly 2 more on the way by TWO MORE WOMEN. SMH). she has all the toys and games in the world, but she just wants somebody to play with, but there's only adults in the house. me and my friend entertained her with a game of uno on the 4th, but then she wanted to bring out clue and bingo and we made a run for it.

speaking of the 4th, it was fun. my morning started out by picking up the tv and tv stand that i had picked out the day before. then we headed back to mom's for some grub and my trash talking family. oh we are hilarious. three of my guy cousins were arguing over dominoes while my lil cuz was tryna cheat at uno. how you gonna beg somebody to play with you then cheat!?!? the 4th of july is always a double celebration for my fam since my bigmama's birthdai is on the 3rd. she is somewhere between 81 and 88 years old. no one knows for sure, except her. i had 2.5 plates and some birthdai cake. stuffed was an understatement.

the 4th was also sad with the unexpected murder of steve mcnair. my dad was talkin smack sayin, "he must have promised her something and reneged on it." being that they think its a murder-suicide, dad might not be that far off. still sad. this oughta teach people not to cheat. the person you cheatin with can bust a cap in yo ass if you with a crazy one.

with this week, summer school starts. i'm taking an online class, and i'm still conducting research for my prof as well as continuing my literature search for my dissertation. i figure if i find 10-15 a day i'm doing good. then i'ma take them up to my mama job and print all of them. its a waste of paper, but i just like to write notes scribble arrows and circles on my articles as i'm reading them. i'm hoping to have my proposal done by the end of the month. i better, or else i'ma get fussed at over the phone by my prof again.

i'm also looking for a job. a REAL one this time. i don't want to leave my traveling job because i love it, but i need to pay these bills! need something more stable, and local. i applied at several community colleges in ft worth (the next city over) and i was getting ready to apply to community colleges in dallas when i got a call from my homeboy MH. he is the CEO of his own education consulting firm. i'm looking for a job in educational consulting/instructional support while i'm working on my degree in urban education and he's looking for somebody with a degree and/or experience in urban education to do research for his firm. that wasn't NOBODY but God who hooked that up. i told him about my dissertation topics (there's three) and he said i could even use his students as my population sample for my study! once again, nobody but God. we talked for a bit, but we have an official meeting tomorrow at his office to talk business. i hope it all works out. God got me this far, now i have to hold up my end.

i'm doing all this talk about God, i need to go pay my tithes, which i have been avoiding since may. i need to handle up on that...

hmm... i must not have a neighbor, because i play music from when i get up to when i go to bed at 1-2a all day and i haven't got a complaint yet. and my subwoofer is right next to the wall. maybe they like my music. most of it has been michael jackson...

which is why the damn cableman needs to bring his ass on so i can watch the memorial service tomorrow! ...since i ain't there. i was really thinking about driving 19hrs to LA to go. i had free lodging because i have fam in LA, but that would have been a long ass drive. and my truck is already mad at me because yesterdai, me mama and cousin went to BCS to get the rest of my stuff out of storage and i put one of those u-haul trailers on the back for my stuff. yeah, my truck didn't like that. need to have daddy look at it, then i can ride around in his truck while he fixes mine. bad part is that it prolly won't fit in my parking spot in the garage in my building. damn compact spaces.

i went over 1000 words. oops.

TOODLES! 

randimosity from the road, 12.3

greetings from rockville, maryland!

i'm in my new hotel room since i was a DUMB DIDDY who booked my return flight home a day after i was supposed to leave (which was todai). but i took the opportunity to explore more of DC that i haven't had to see. one of the greatest members of the former roomie club and myself went to the newseum for a lil bit because we had never been there since it opened. it is AWESOME! i think i am a bonified news geek. i should have bought the shirt that said that. it is an interactive museum, and ya'll know i like to touch stuff. hey, i'm a kinesthetic learner!

but yeah, it was awesome. i want to go back. i could stay up in there all day.

after the newseum, roomie dropped me off at the lincoln memorial because i had never seen it before and she headed to the airport. i went to the washington memorial, lincoln memorial, WWII memorial and vietnam memorial, as well as barack and nem house, again. i wanted to go to the jefferson memorial, but that was over the water and i didn't feel like walking waaay over there and back. and i just have this thing about walking on bridges that go over water.

the lincoln memorial was packed with people, it was hard to get a picture without people in it. my wide-shot of it has people, but the picture of lincoln is him by himself. i know so many people that have pictures next to their state at the WWII memorial, but i didn't have nobody with me to take my pic so i just took a pic of texas and settled for that. i was a doofus because the vietnam memorial is next to lincoln's memorial, but i walked to the WWII memorial, so i had to walk BACK to the vietnam memorial. i really wanted to go though, so i didn't mind. when i got there i called my dad, as he is a vietnam vet. he asked me to look up a name, one of his war buddies that actually encouraged him to enlist in the army. it took me a while to find it, but i eventually did. it was too high up on the wall for me to reach it to copy it with paper, so i just zoomed in on it on my camera. when i called my dad back to tell him i'd found the name, he sounded kinda sad. but my dad is one who represses his feelings, so i didn't know if he'd want to talk about it. perhaps he'll open up more when i email him the pics. he got PTSD from the war, so he doesn't talk about it much, because it brings back so many bad memories.

from there i called my mama and talked to her as i was just roaming down constitution ave. i really was walking aimlessly, as i was just killing time because it was it was a pretty day and i was free to do whatever i wanted. my last stop was obama and nem house. i had seen it before, but i didn't take many pictures because i was so excited that i was IN the house that i didn't take many pictures OF it. so after some random walking i eventually found it. i knew it was perpendicular to the washington memorial so i just walked until i found it. i got a great picture of it, almost like one you'd get on a postcard. i should have taken a picture of the security guard with this HUGE machine gun strapped to him at the gate. i'd hate to get shot with that...

from there, i walked some more to the metro station and got on the train to go back to my hotel. i found it funny that they were randomly still using the tickets they specially printed for the inauguration todai. i already got one at home from when i was actually at inauguration. gotta make sure i remember which one is which. (speaking of inauguration, i need to get that ticket to the inauguration from my dad. he had two, and didn't bother to give them to me when he KNEW i was flying to DC for inauguration. grrrrrr. but i digress...). it was a long ride from downtown to my hotel, as it was at the end of the red line, so i was actually sleep on the ride home. that was a nice nap. from the transit station i caught the bus to my hotel. i wasn't paying attention good and i had to get off on the stop after it, so i had to do more backtracking. damn i got a lot of exercise in day, as well as a tan that i wasn't trying to get. eh, my skin will fade back eventually...

this may be my last randimosity from the road entry for a while. this was my last conference of this cycle. i'll have my interview in about two weeks or so to see if they'll bring me back for the fall. i definitely want to come back, but i do have to write a dissertation. but i'm accustomed to juggling multiple jobs and classes, so i'm sure i'll work it out and i'll still be able to do it. its a possibility that we're getting all new program coordinators for the fall, so i'll have to hip a brand new group of people to my unique situation. but the good thing is that i made nice with the program manager, who is definitely staying on, so she (hopefully) has my back. but you know how workplace politics get...

even with the nap on the train, i'm still sleepy. i don't know what i'm going to do in the morning, might go walk some more or catch the bus and see what i find. what sucks some more is that i have a late flight so i have a LOT of time to kill.

i'll do what i do best, and make the most of it.

TOODLES!

randimosity from the road, 12.2

greetings from the 4-H conference center!

this is such a shitty place. well i shouldn't say that, because they finally put us on the nice side where the advisors usually stay, after two nights in bunk beds over in the dorms with the students. i hadn't been in a bunk bed since UG. and i always get the top bunk. i haven't been able to sleep with over something hanging/hovering over my head since i had a canopy bed when i was a kid.

this conference, my last one of the summer, is coming to an end. . i am glad that the students are FINALLY opening up, and they had a pretty good day todai. we had a few workshops, less than yesterdai, but they performed pretty well. the workshop they had with GS went very well. in their feedback and favorite moment comments, the majority of them mentioned his workshop and my presentation skills workshop. awww... i feel special. i will miss a few of them. a couple of them, they sorta irk the mess outta me, so i'm glad tomorrow is the last day.

todai i didn't eat much, because i skipped breakfast because i had to switch rooms AGAIN. i skipped lunch because me and US (that's her initials, not the united states) went to the verizon store to buy her a new phone since she thought she lost hers. turns out housekeeping found it and turned it in to the front desk and the incompetent people at the front desk didn't know it was there until she asked for it 4 times. (it was there in an envelope with her NAME on it). dumbasses. the staff at this facility are sooooo incompetent. ugh. i'm glad i'm leaving mondai.

i'm sorta glad this is the last conference of the summer because i haven't been home for more than 48 consecutive hours since hmm... MAY?!?! its crazy. i have been on the road constantly. i love it, but i want to be stationary for a while. i want to actually have enough time to go buy furniture for my apartment that is half furnished! i'm also glad to not work conferences anymore because i'm tired of my bosses nitpicking at stupid stuff. just because ya'll bored don't mean you gotta take it out on me. one part of being a boss is making your employees feel valued and appreciated. i will say that my guy boss this week has done a good job of that; the lady boss? NOT so much!

the students had their talent show tonight. they had some surprises, and with other acts, i was like... hmm yeah you coulda kept that to yourself. but you can't boo the children!

me and roomie for the week (the one i went to miami with, not the triflin one that cause me to leave my own damn room) are applying for jobs at the community college. i gotta finish my materials and get that thing submitted ASAP. i don't want to work in july or august. i really want to start in september, but in this economy, i can't be picky. income is INCOME. i am scheduled to defend my dissertation proposal and take my preliminary exams at the end of august. i don't know if that's still happening because a) i haven't written my dissertation proposal yet and b) my prof keeps doubting my dedication to my studies so i guess he don't think i'm 'ready'. whatever. just as long as i'm done with these two things before my 26th birthdai. (mark your calendars for september 17th!!!   that would suck tremendously if i spent my birthdai nose deep in books writing 100+ pages for my exam. MAAAN i don't look forward to that crap. UGH.

this girl from next door knocked on our door and told us to keep it down because she is trying to sleep. what the hell is up with all these light sleepers?! ya'll need to get ya'll shit together, or get some earplugs. one of the two. i sleep hard as a rock. people can do construction next door and i won't hear it. now if the phone rings, i'll wake up. texts and emails? not so much. if you need me in the A.M., i suggest you call. i'm usually quick with texts, but after i go to sleep, you will be waiting a loooooong time for a response!

okay i'm rambling. its 1:37a here. tomorrow is departure day and our end-of-cycle celebration. not looking forward to the celebration though. i just want to go explore DC some more!

and on that note, i should go to bed.

TOODLES!

randimosity from the road, 12.1

greetings from chevy chase, maryland!

i'm trying to be happy, but i'm just flustered.

first mike jackson want to die on me, then my punk ass roommate started a fuss and I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO MOVE OUT! because her punk ass can't sleep with sound or light, and she goes to bed at like 1030-1100p and i go to bed around 1a everydai. i go to sleep after and wake up BEFORE her. either she don't need this job if she can't get accustomed to limited sleeping hours and having different roommates that may or may not accustom to her sleeping habits. she need to invest in some damn earplugs and a face mask so she won't inconvenience her roommate every.damn.week. ugh.

oh yeah, i'm working. lets talk about that.

our students? they need to open the hell up. but we did find out todai that pretty much ALLLL of them are afraid of public speaking, so that's our group goal to work on their presentation skills. believe it or not, as much as i talk for my job, i don't like public speaking either. i think in this setting i get to be goofy and silly so it really doesn't get to me. but if i had to make a speech in front of 500 people tomorrow, i'd be scared out my mind. my trick is that i just take my glasses off so i can't see the people i'm speaking to, but i can still see what's in front of me.

hmmm... what else?

oh, i hate this campus. they usually put us in posh hotels, but this week we are in a crappy campground/dorm lookin thing. i went from a queen size bed to a BUNK BED! and i'm on the top bunk too. i chose to be up there. i could go on the bottom but somehow i fear the bottom bunk more than the top. when i had bunk beds in undergrad i was on the top bunk. but yeah, i put my phone on keyboard lock and sleep on the phone because there is nowhere to put the phone so i can wake up in the morning with my alarm. (just in case i want to hit snooze. i did that crap in undergrad, i would get down off the bed to hit snooze then GET BACK UP in the bed. crazy.)

oh  and guess what else my dumbass did? i booked my flight to leave out of DCA on the 30th. guess when our last day is?

the 29th.

so yeah, either i'm going to have to go back to my cousin's house for a day or just get a hotel. i already been at her crib a week. i just feel bad doing that. and i have no way over there. usually i public transportation it, but not with these 4 bags i got. i will have to suck it up and get a cab to another hotel, and hope that hotel has an airport shuttle.

or. even dumber... the cost to change the flight on tuesdai was $156, including the $150 change fee. i checked last night and that sucker jumped up to a minimum of $658, not including the $150 change fee. i call BS... but it will go back down on saturdai because they will desperately try to fill the seats on the plane. if by saturdai night doesn't go down, i will be getting me a hotel room, or just swallowing my pride and asking cuzzo to stay with her one more night.

ooo i'm sleepy. if i continue on, i'll ramble. so let's just call it a night, m'kay?

TOODLES!

desensitized

bad things happen sometimes.

but yet, we continue on.

yes, sometimes we may alter our ways a bit because of bad things happening, but we can't live in fear.

God didn't give us the spirit of fear.
that's in the Bible somewhere. don't ask me where.

i just think its weird. i had that thought on the train todai.

...in DC. actually the same exact line (red line) that had the wreck on mondai.

i'm out here in maryland, and the red line train was the only way i was getting into DC (that i knew of, since i don't have a rental). so i got on it.

the though of mondai's events flashed in my head for a few seconds, then i just... rode the train. what else was i gonna do? if God want to take you out, He will. He'll use a train, a car, a plane... or some poisonous tainted peanut butter and cookie dough.

its happened to me before. remember back in february where that continental commuter jet just fell out of the sky and into a house during a snowstorm in buffalo, ny? guess what airline i fly on for work.

continental.

and i was scheduled to be on the EXACT type of plane the next day to go home, except i was going from wichita, ks to houston, so there was no bad weather along the way. but that accident was due to weather and pilot error. who's to say my pilot wasn't going to have some errors? the thought crossed my mind... and then i boarded the plane.

i had a point here... lemme find it.

even though people are deeply saddened by unexpected tragedies, we still don't stop what we're doing. in most circumstances, i don't think we should. now if someone was in a drunk driving accident and they wrecked really bad, i could understand them not wanting to drink anymore. but since a plane or train crashed doesn't mean me, or the hundreds of people i saw on the trains todai, are gonna stop riding trains and planes. they need their mode of transportation, right?

is it desensitization? are we immune to fear? what exactly is it within people that motivates them to enter activities that have taken the lives of others? do we not fear? do we suppress the fear? where does it go?

or is it even a factor?

is it faith in a supreme being, or is it faith that the plane, train, car is gonna do what its supposed to do and get you to your destination in one piece?

it just made me wonder.